Mitchell aka... Papa aka... my dad

All week I have struggled with what to write about the passing of my biological father, Elton Mitchell McCullough.  There are endless things I can say about the man that he was... how he loved every single living thing and studied God's creation in awe of everything he saw.  There is much to say about the relationship that we shared... the wonderful opportunities he gave me to share about Christ, asking me the hard questions that he had not had answered.  There are so many who could share how his unconditional love allowed them a distinct u-turn in life that led them down a better path.  From time to time, I would like to talk about my dad but what I most want to share today is about the benefit of knowing Christ personally. 

I was searching through my old emails looking for ones from Papa, aka: my dad.  I came across the following paragraph that was typed almost two years ago when my stepmom was battling cancer.  At the time I wrote it we had learned, after a crazy-roller-coaster-of-a-few-weeks, that she was cancer free.  We were happy... excited... singing God's praises for her healing.  What I want you to know is that today I cannot sing of Papa's earthly healing or the miracles God granted us.  I cannot raise my hands in praise for more time with him.  I cannot say that "happy" or "excited" are words that would accurately describe the condition of my heart but I can say that, in spite of that fact... in spite of the fact that God chose to heal my dad by taking him home to Heaven, I STILL believe everything this says with every fiber of my being:

Recently, something in Matthew was pointed out to me that I had not previously noticed but is now profound to me.  In Matthew 14:28 Peter and the other disciples were in the boat when Peter said "Lord, if it's you, tell me to come to you on the water."  and Jesus said "Come."  As you all know, Peter then got out of the boat and miraculously walked on the water.  As you also likely know, Peter got distracted by the wind and began to sink.  

Here's where it gets profound to me.  At the end of verse 30 we learn that Peter cried out "Lord, save me!"  We are told in verse 31 that "Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him."  If it was by Jesus' power that Peter walked on the water then it was Jesus that allowed Peter to begin sinking.  Surely, Jesus had the ability to keep Peter on the surface of that water but He saw that something beneficial could happen if Peter sank.  Peter saw that he NEEDED Jesus, that he could do nothing on his own and that it was Jesus that had the power.  Peter also learned that when he cried out for his Lord to save him, IMMEDIATELY he would be saved.  

It is much easier to look back upon this instance with Peter and KNOW that Christ allowed him to sink because there was a benefit that outweighed the struggle.  The reality remains, however, that we all encounter struggles, pain, and even death.  The bigger reality of it is that no matter what is happening now... in our experiences... in our lifetimes, God is lovingly making decisions with yesterday, today and forever in mind.  In John 11:35 we are told that upon seeing the grief of his friends after losing Lazarus, Jesus wept.  Just moments before he KNEW he would raise Lazarus from the dead, Jesus wept.  We do not ever walk alone and when we grieve, God grieves with us.  Any moment of pain we experience, any depth we sink to is known by eyes that see all things, by a God who is eternal and eternally loving, a God who loves us more than he loves himself.  

Why my dad's time was marked so early, I will never know.  I will grieve it every day for the remainder of my life.  I do not write this "God is so loving" message from some Polly-Anna-I've-never-experienced-pain-and-God-gave-me-what-I-wanted place.  No.  I did not get my way.  I did not.  I want my dad to be here with me!  Yet, I trust and I know that God is good and God loves because He has shown it time and again but mostly because of what we celebrate this weekend.  God gave his one and only son... to an excruciating death on the cross... because I sin and I NEED SAVING from an obligation I cannot meet.  Jesus died for me and for my dad... and for you, so that we can walk with God and know Him.  God allowed that awful thing, not because it gave Him pleasure but because it was what was best for us... because He loves us.  I need nothing else from God to know that He loves me but the awesome thing is, He didn't stop there.  He also raised Jesus from the dead so that we could have a hope of eternity and victory over death.  

On this earth, my Papa has died but because he accepted Christ he lives eternally in Heaven and I look forward to the party we'll have when we all get to Heaven.