40-Day Journey

Clearly, I have struggled with how to begin a photography blog.  I've been "planning" to do it for over two years and haven't.  There are countless reasons that have kept me from writing here but it's mostly been a fear that no one would care... that no one would read it anyway.... that I wouldn't be "good enough."  There are SO many amazing photographers and SO many amazing bloggers and the thought of putting myself out there... REALLY putting myself out there REALLY freaked me out! 


Alas, today I am beginning a 40 day journey prompted by one of a hundred Facebook posts I see in a day.  The words that caught my eye were "40-Day Prayer Journey to Seek God's Will For Your Photo Business."  Finally, JUST what I was looking to find.  From Day 1 of being in business I have said that this business belonged to God for as long as it existed but I have not always ran the business that way... partly because I was the one running the business.  In the beginning I was so excited that I took on too much work... and when I say too much work I mean so much that I did not have enough time for the relationships in my life that matter most.  My role as a mom suffered.  I know that I was not as patient as my kids needed me to be.  I shudder at the number of times that they found me at the computer and I found it difficult to leave to play with them... though I did make sure to do that more than I didn't... I think.  My role as a wife suffered.  For the record, that's an enormous understatement.  My most prosperous year ended with me in tears telling my husband that I felt like he was my roommate, that we had no connection and I couldn't work like that for another year and not feel like the crappiest wife and mom in the world. (Wow!  Would my kids be mad that I just said "crappiest" but it's really the nicest word for how I felt!) My heart was broken and haggard because I was not looking to God to run my business, my business was running me!


So, as my first assignment in my 40-Day Prayer Journey to Seek God's Will For My Photo Business, I'd like to introduce you to the new CEO of Dorinda Peyton Photography, His name is Jesus.  He's totally the best person for the job.  Every ounce of creativity that I've ever had has come from Him.  In fact, He's the author of all good things and every good and perfect gift I've received have come from Him.  I know that talking about one's religion is all social taboo... especially on a professional blog but I'm not talking about a religion.  I'm talking about a real live God who is my friend... with whom I have a real relationship.  I talk to Him and He talks to me... if I'll ever shut up long enough to listen.  So if it freaks you out to think of me talking about "God" then, for a moment, think of Him as my dearest friend.  You see I have not lived a perfect life.  The mountain of mistakes I've made are overwhelming and shameful.  Those mistakes were so huge that, at times, I felt myself suffocating and in complete dispair.  It was this amazing Jesus who did not stand before me and show me the image of me that I believed to be true, that I believed others saw... the harlot, the liar, the murderer, the unworthy, the unforgivable, the unlovable.  No, Jesus picked me up out of the pit of which I'd have surely died and He loved me.  He said I was beautiful.  He said I was His daughter... His delight.  He said that I was the apple of His eye... something I'd never been to anyone else in my life.  He said that not only was I forgivable but that I was forgiven... redeemed... PURE!


Despite His sweet words I continued to doubt my worth, knowing what I truly deserved... but Jesus, he held my hand every day... speaking words of love to my heart, conforming me to be more like Him and blessing me beyond my wildest dreams!   I'm not wealthy.  I don't know if I'd even want to be.  I'm not famous but I'm fairly certain that I want no part of that at all anyway!   I am, however, a wife to a wonderful man who adores me, who cherishes our marriage as the sacred thing that it is.  I am a mother to children who teach me and point me to Christ every-single-day, honoring me with the privilege of being the one who teaches them how to love Jesus.  I am a friend of the One who gave His life for mine and that is more than I could ever need. 


I'm excited to give my business back to Jesus.  Everything in my life is His anyway.   I don't know what this journey will mean for it but  I know that apart from Him, I can do nothing anyway but with my faith in Him, I can move mountains!


So, if you're actually still reading... Thank you!  I have no idea what God is going to do on this 40 day journey but I'm excited to be on it and ready to enjoy the ride!


God Bless,