Pretty

Yesterday morning Gavin was searching for pictures of an Egyptian Plover.  For those of you who are now thinking, "a what?" it is a beautiful little bird that lives in Africa.  It's the sole member of its genus... but now I've digressed back into a science teacher.  Here's a photo of the cute little thing:

Photo from: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Egyptian_Plover

Isn't it so cute!?  Anyway, Gavin was talking all about this little girl who had done her bird research on the Egyptian Plover when I realized... 


He was talking about a GIRL!  


His voice was just a little bit different than usual and he kept saying her name... over.and.over!  That may not sound all to crazy to some but my kids are not that interested in the opposite sex just yet, which suits me just fine!  


Thinking myself sly, I asked "Is she pretty?"  


In perfect Gavin style, his response made me giggle... and think.
  

"Yes, sometimes.  It depends on what she's wearing.  Sometimes she wears glasses and I think she's really pretty when she wears her glasses."



I hid my amusement over how stinkin' cute my kid is with the realization that I need to read a little Proverbs 31 with that boy!  How I wish he'd said she was pretty because she was kind to other students or giving to those in need but... alas, he is seven.  At least he said her glasses made her pretty, right?  


It's moments like these that I realize it's time to focus on a topic with my kids.  What makes someone pretty?  We've talked about what makes someone a good friend but we don't really talk about "pretty."  Yet, I know full well that if I don't help them define what is pretty they'll get the definition somewhere else!  Goodness knows that can be downright ugly!


But what do I consider pretty?  Is it my outward appearance?  Is it who I am on the inside?  Or is it some combination of both?  Here are a few descriptions given in Proverbs 31:

• She is more precious than rubies. Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life.  She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. (v 10-12)
• She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future.  When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness.  She carefully watches everything in her household and suffers nothing from laziness. (v 25-27)
• Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised. (v 30)

How do you define pretty?  Honestly, sometimes I get stuck in my physical appearance and think that I have to have everything in place before I leave the house.  Seriously, I love my lipstick and big hair!  Don't even get me started on the "necessity" of heels... but sometimes my hair gets all flat...  What If I had to shave it?  Would I still be pretty?  And my lips... no matter what lipstick I use they pale in comparison to Angelina's.... Am I still pretty?  And as much as I hate to admit it, some days my feet hurt in my heels and I have to wear flats...  Oh the tragedy of it all!


Every single physical thing that we think makes us pretty can be lost but trust, strength, dignity, the ability to laugh, wise words, kindness, good work ethic and a love of the Lord... these will not fade.  


I often talk to Madeline about what makes her pretty, careful to point out all her wonderful traits but I don't talk to Gavin about the topic much.  Clearly, it's something I need to do and something I WILL do!  I also need to model it too.  Do they see these things in my life?  Because what they see in me is even more important than what they hear from me.


How do you teach your children what pretty is?  Do you teach them at all?  Remember, if you don't someone else definitely will!