Father's Day

As I read through facebook on days like Mother's Day or Father's Day I have mixed feelings. There are many that post loving things about the wonderful people in their lives but others are silent.... and then some are not at all silent. One status I read today from a friend that does not have a relationship with her father was meant in humor but the truth hurt my heart "Dad, our relationship means the world to my therapist." I know that she laughed when she posted it but this was not the kind of relationship that dad's are supposed to have with their kids. Another status talked about how her biological father was a let down. Yet she showed gratitude toward another man who'd filled the role of "daddy." Her status had no intended humor, just courageous transparency. I, myself, struggle with this too. I have two dads and to the confusion of everyone I know, I call them both "Dad."

When I was nineteen months old my mother was a single parent to my brother and myself and she met a man that would change our lives in countless ways. I don't know much about their time of courtship but I do know that he, very soon, became my dad. Charles Michael Houston welcomed my brother and me into his heart and gave us his name, his home, his family, his love, his faith... his everything. I remember crying in his arms in the wee hours of the morning because my legs hurt so bad from growing pains and sitting on the barn steps, being so mad at my mom as a teen, listening to him tell me that it was just because she loved me so much and that one day I'd understand. I remember his face when he was hurt over my lying to him but I remember him beaming with pride many many times more. In every possible way, he was my dad and I absolutely delight in talking with him now even more than I did then! I love to hear what he things about life issues and I love to hear him talk about the "good ole days."

Dad, I don't know if you'll ever read this but God chose the perfect dad to raise me. I have told you that many times. He used you to bring me to Him. You are a great example of what it means to be a dad and I love you! Thank you for accepting us into your life and modeling what it means to be a man. You sat at the dinner table every night and took us to church every Sunday. More importantly, you hugged us, disciplined us and loved us unconditionally. You have given me more than words an express in an ordinary day-to-day life. Thank you!

When I was twenty I made a phone call that changed my life. At that time I worked for MCI at a calling center and got free long distance after we got off work. At a desk in that office I called my biological dad for the first time. My stepmom answered the phone, I'm sure wondering what woman was calling so late and asking for her husband. As soon as I said my name, her voice changed and she asked "Are you okay, Honey?" I loved her right then. Dad and I talked for thirty minutes but I have no idea what was said. Prior to my call I had no idea what kind of relationship I expected to come from it but something inside of me told me that I just had to forgive him for leaving. I know now that something to be God's Holy Spirit. Over the next few weeks I called a few times but it was one particular call that stands out more than others. I didn't talk to Dad that day. A young very southern accent answered that day and after I'd asked for Mitch she replied "Ma'am, he's not feeling well. Can I take a message?" I wish you could hear me tell the story because her sweet little southern drawl just makes the story! I told her who I was and she, obviously shocked, replied "Do you know who this is?" I said "Is this Harriett?" which was one of the two younger sisters I knew existed but had never met... and honestly, wasn't sure I wanted to meet. Then she said words that cut straight to my soul "This is your sister and I've waited my whole life to talk to you." I cried. No, I bawled. Truly, I'd been so jealous of her that I'd hated her and in that moment every ounce disappeared into thin air. I had another sister and she loved me. Words cannot adequately express how that realization changed me. I later met my other sister, Anna and was blown away when she chose to spend all of her report card reward to buy me a bunny rabbit piggy bank. Love, just love and it blew me away. In the seventeen years since I made that call, I have been grateful for the leading to do it so many times. Not once have I regretted it. In my choosing to forgive, God gave me, not just another dad, but another family and complete healing.

Dad, I know that it's sometimes difficult to look back at all we've missed out on but I KNOW that God knew what he was doing. You, too, have given me so much for which I am grateful! For example, I know that right now you're thinking "Yea, your good looks!" and it makes me smile because I do love that I look like you. I was blown away by some of my personality traits and loves that somehow made it from you to me. Who'd have thought that a love for reading and nature and the ability to make sure that no one EVER cries alone could be inherited! We wear our hearts on our sleeves and it ties me to you. I love it and I love you.

I know that Father's Day, Mother's Day, Christmas, Wedding Anniversaries that were destroyed by divorce.... they're all hard sometimes but I'm grateful for every one of them, especially when they're hard. For they're a reminder that my home is not here, but in heaven. They're opportunities for me to rely on the strength of my Heavenly Father and draw near to him. I'm grateful for everything that causes me to do that, for in Him I can trust, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that whatever has happened has passed through His hands and has been to benefit me in some way that, possibly, only He can see and I trust in what He can see.

Gracious, I just realized that I was about to wrap this up without recognizing my sweet husband and father to my beautiful children. Chris Peyton, I have told you time and again that I'm certain God made you just for me and I mean it! He also made you for these wonderful kids of ours and them for you. I love to watch you with them! I feel like we're both learning something every day from them and there's no one on this earth I'd rather be walking through this parenting journey with than you. You're funny, smart, and so good-looking... I'm not sure what that has to do with parenting but I felt you'd want to hear it anyway. ;) You have the kind of relationship with our kids that a dad is supposed to have! You model good things in front of them and continue to do those good things when they're not looking. You sacrifice for them. You giggle with them and you hold them accountable. You tell them you love them and you hug them all the time. I love you Chris and I'm so grateful you chose me to be your wife and the mother of your children. Thank you!!!